網路上節錄的
很好笑的反諷文章

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1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things
like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

1.因為Gay是不自然的。真正的老美一向排斥不自然的東西,像是眼鏡、聚合物和空調。

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging
around tall people will make you tall.

2.因為同志婚姻會鼓勵人們變成Gay,就好像你跟高個子混久了會變高一樣。

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior.
People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and
can sign a marriage contract.

3.因為使同志婚姻合法化將導致社會上出現更多亂象,人們可能會與他們的寵物結婚,因為狗在法律上
有其地位保障,而且會自己簽名。

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all;
women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is
still illegal.

4.因為異性戀婚姻是一項歷史悠久的傳統,正如女性依然被視為丈夫的資產,黑人與白人依然不許通婚,
而離婚依然是違法的一樣。

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed;
the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be
destroyed.

5.萬一通過同志婚姻合法化,異性間的婚姻重要性將被沖淡。這對小甜甜布蘭妮那「持續了55小時的
婚姻」其神聖性必然造成重大影響。

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples,
infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our
orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

6.異性間的婚姻是被允許的,因為他們可以製造新生命。同志戀人與不孕症患者、還有老年人,則不該
結婚。因為我們的孤兒院都還空著,而世界上需要更多新生命。

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only
raise straight children.

7.很顯然地,被同志父母扶養長大的小孩會變成Gay,正如異性戀父母的孩子們都是異性戀。

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the
values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have
only one religion in America.

8.同志婚姻不被宗教認可。在我們這個神權至上的國家裡宗教可是遍布全國的真理,同時我們的國家
裡只有一種宗教。

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home.
That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

9.在沒有一父一母角色分工環境下成長的小孩注定不會成功。因此我們要禁止單親家庭撫養小孩。

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt
to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector
economy, or longer life spans.

10.同志婚姻會對「國家的基本組成」,也就是家庭,造成影響。我們可能永遠無法接受這新的衝擊,
正如我們無法接受汽車的發明、服務業的興起和更長的壽命一樣。
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